Category: Lifestyle

6 Ways to Get in the Mood

Problem No. 1: Same Old, Same Old

The Solution: Spice It Up

“When you’re in a long-term relationship, you get into a routine,” says Renee Horowitz, MD, an obstetrician-gynecologist and founder of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, Mich. “There’s biological evidence that novel experiences cause the release of dopamine in the brain.” (Dopamine is a chemical messenger that’s connected to the pleasure center in your brain.) “That’s why it’s so much easier to get excited in a new relationship — everything is novel and your brain responds accordingly.”

Obviously, you can’t switch partners every time the excitement wanes. Instead, change up some of the other factors. “Try a different place, a different time, a different position,” Horowitz suggests. Have a morning quickie. Try sex in the shower, or on the kitchen island. (Clean up afterward.)

Problem No. 2: Too Much to Do, Too Tired

The Solution: Take a Romantic Break

All couples are tired at the end of a long day with many demands. By the time you get everyone to bed and deal with unavoidable chores, you just don’t have the energy for a romantic evening.

It’s time to change that.

“You have to prioritize what’s important,” says sex educator Sadie Allison, a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Her best-selling books include Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! and Tickle Your Fancy. “Tired as you might be, it’s OK to just make it a quickie sometimes. Sex is so important to the overall health of your relationship.”

Instead of waiting until just before you put out the lights, take a break for a romantic encounter beforethe evening’s chores. “Make space and time where you can escape and get creative,” Allison says. Even if that time is in your house (or car, or backyard). “Look, it isn’t going to happen spontaneously,” Allison says. “You have to find the time and make a date.”

Problem No. 3: ‘Who Are You?’

How to Be Big and Beautiful

Make sure your hair is working for you. Get a cut that flatters your face shape and keeps head to body proportions in mind. (Note, too long hair on plus sized ladies often drags the body down. Too short hair gives the “pin head” effect, that of a small head on a larger body.) Often, dying it a shade or two darker or lighter can make a much more striking appearance than “mousy” hair color. If your natural hair color is boring, consider finding out about your color type and dying it a more flattering shade. (Cold or warm color types, or if more in depth, the seasons: Spring, Fall, Winter, and Summer. This information can be found in color type analysis books, and is also very useful in picking out make up and clothing colors that flatter you the most.)

Take the time to apply make up. A well made up face, but not overly dramatic that makes you look like a clown, presents a well groomed image. Learn to accentuate your best features and how to contour your face. (Get a make up consultation or invest in a book on applying make up.) In general, taking care of yourself will give people an impression of confidence and self worth. The confidence you will feel from being well maintained, will make your great personality the thing people remember about you, not the few extra pounds.

Invest in your teeth, and maintain your skin. Keep your nails well groomed. These small things make a huge difference. Looking healthy and clean is always attractive!

Find at least 5 things about yourself that you like, and think about those when you get down. Perhaps write them down so you can look at them whenever you need to Take the time to showcase those features. For example, do you have pretty hands? Then wear nice rings and maintain your nails.

Fake it! No one is completely body confident. Be positive about yourself to others, and others will see you in that light. Nothing makes a person look more unattractive to others, regardless of weight, than a person who is constantly make self depreciating comments. However, if you seem happy and confident with the way you look, people will be drawn to your personality. Remember also many men find larger women attractive.

Make clothing work for you. Get a book on body proportion analysis (or image consulting guides), and figure out what cuts work for your body type. (For example, straight leg jeans balance wide hips, so keep away from jeans that taper!) Never wear too baggy, it will make you larger then you are. Never wear too tight clothing, it will accentuate your problem spots. Wear well fitted cuts, they will put you in the best light. You do not need to limit yourself to black, although darker colors do slenderize, but also be wary of too extremely bright colors and patterns that scream circus tent. Basic pieces can also be jazzed up through bold and creative accessories, which are always conversation starters.

Take from the trends what works for you. If you have trouble looking for trendy clothes that fit your size then consider wearing more timeless pieces and making them up to date with cheap trendy accessories that you will only wear for the season. Wear only one or two trendy pieces to look in, less is always more. Otherwise have good quality accessories to make an outfit. Invest in good pieces, they often have a longer life then your clothes. Good shoes, bags, and jewelry can make an cheap outfit look more expensive.

Get regular exercise, with physician’s o.k. Regular work outs such as walking and swimming are great and help to tone your muscles, give you a healthy glow, help you to feel great and move more gracefully.